Biblical Anger Management

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger. (Eph 4:26 ESV)

This verse is often mistakenly used to excuse anger. The conventional wisdom says that anger is natural and inevitable. Therefore, when you get angry you need to find healthy ways to express it or you will just bottle it up and become bitter.

This is partly true. Anger is natural and inevitable, but that doesn’t mean it is good. Sin is natural because our flesh is sinful. Paul is recognizing that, but he is not intending to give us a pass just because anger is inevitable. The conventional wisdom says, “If you don’t let the anger out you will just bottle it up and cause further harm.” But here the conventional wisdom is wrong. There is a third way: forgiveness. It turns out that many people are taking verse 26 out of context. Let’s look at v31-32:

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 

When I get angry at someone the answer is not yelling at them to make myself feel better. The answer is forgiving them. There is no better way to do that than to pray for the person who has angered me. “Do not let the sun go down on your anger” doesn’t mean get it all out of your system by nightfall. It means do not go to bed that night until you have forgiven them. We need to get down on our knees and pray until we are able to forgive. This takes the power of the Holy Spirit. Lord, help me forgive those who hurt me. Replace the anger with compassion. In no way will the supernatural power of your Holy Spirit in our hearts be better demonstrated than when we rise above our sinful natures to forgive and to love others as you have forgiven and loved us. Amen.